....To Be Concluded

Via @ChanayDawnn
"...talk respect. Some guys don't respect the relationship or their girl. Why is that??"

So I wrote in my last post (a lot) that I would continue to talk about a woman's choice of the men she chooses to keep. @ChanayDawnn's question deals with this subject a lot...probably in more ways than most people are aware of.

I don't know if this is a real saying, but it should be. Respect is not given, it's earned. And can't be earned until it's taught." There are quite a number of women out there who enter crappy relationships with a man who has no respect for them. They don't respect you because you never gave them respect, OR he was never taught how to give such a gift. Now if he was never taught to give respect, you're out of luck. Don't look for this guy to show you something he's never seen in himself! But on the other hand, women, don't go around dogging men in every conversation with him. Don't go around dogging him, slandering his name...and then have the nerve to be surprised when he lays hands on you! I'm not excusing men's reasoning for domestic violence, but don't go around provoking it either....you've been warned. (Kanye Shrug)

Ladies, (this is me giving advice now) this is when the art of dating really comes into play. Dating is our way to audition and interview each other for compatibility. If you notice something that you feel you can't help change (and I say the word "help" very strongly) or you can't tolerate, move along. Don't stick around because he has a cute face, got money or whatever the case is...because you're only going to get hurt in the end. Know what kind of relationship you're looking for in the person and why you are with this guy. Dating helps with this. And dating lasts more than two weeks!

"No Seriously...SAY SOMETHING!"

@pinklipqueen said on twitter:

"i want to discuss why men dont take women seriously when in a relationship? Why dont men know how to be compassionate?"

So let's get down to it.

This issue I kind of addressed on my creative blog > http://createhydraulic.blogspot.com/ < (did you like that little plug in I did there? LOL) Last year, I shot my first short film entitled "Unspoken", which was featured on BET's filmmaker showcased show "Len's On Talent"...take a look, then we will discuss further

BET Videos

You see, sometimes it's not that men aren't taking you seriously (and I stress the word sometimes! We will talk about that in the next post), but we are not very vocal beings when it comes to our emotions and feelings....this is why you have me! You saw how in the end of the short film, the husband had sooooo much to say, but never actually said it. Ladies, you have to help us give these words form (without pestering us...in a loving, supportive way) because society and tradition has taught us not to speak about our heart. Or we just simply weren't taught at all. Women, you become the teacher in a lot of ways for a man, without being his mother. We have to learn how to love you, just like you have to learn how to love us in return...it just so happens that you're better at it! 

He's taking you seriously ladies (if you have a good one! Again, check the next post for that subject) but he doesn't know how to seriously talk!

Activate Affection

"Fellas,there's nothing wrong with showing alittle affection to your lady in public. Be proud,show her off,hold hands & hug" (bought to you by @realmenquotes via twitter)
The problem is that it was never taught. Sorry ladies, most men didn't get this lesson as a child/teen....to be able to show their mothers and girlfriends affection. This typically doesn't come naturally for a man (Though there are rare cases) so if you're looking for more intimate moments from your man, make it a teachable moment. When you're in line at the movies, grab our arms and wrap them around you yourself...show us how and when to do it...or else we won't know, and you'll keep telling your friends "I wish he would hold me more".

Men, don't be so shy about this. Ladies often think you're embarrased to touch her in public, so you're embarrassed OF her...which we know is not true. Lean in for a random kiss to make your romance spontaneous and unexpected! (not while she's talking though...that's just stupid! LOL) Make her feel comfortable and protected. I had a girlfriend who's palms sweated really easily (it was kinda gross, and she knew it) but I endured it because she liked walkin and holding hands. Yes...I know it's gay, but I'm sure she don't like cooking for your ass either! A minor price to make your queen happy.

Love...in Time & Space

Finding time for love is one thing...but maintaining yourself while you're in love is another. With some men, this can be a problem...with others, not so much.

Ladies, if your dude keeps subtly trying to give you hints to leave him alone (Ex: "I'm just tryna chill and watch TV", "Why do I gotta be home all the time"..etc) take the hint. You're smothering him. But some men can flip the script! Watch out for that too!

Love needs a balance, and it's all about knowing his/her personality. I always tell people "If you and your boyfriend or girlfriend are constantly arguing and irritated with each other all day...even just in texting each other, you both talk to each other too much." Just because you like/love each other, doesn't mean you have to talk all day long! At the end of the day, you want to enjoy your man/woman's attention and conversation....that can't happen if you're constantly texting "What are you doing?" "Having a good day?" "What did you have for lunch?" <----WHY IS THAT IMPORTANT? WHY DO YOU CARE??? It's stupid! Stop wasting my time on irrelevant questions. Maybe if your man misses you long enough, he will come to you and say "Hey, I haven't heard from you all day/week long...let's have a movie night!" And all of a sudden, you've been romanced again.

But the other side of this post is this: You can't do any of that if you never have time for anything. I recently went through this with a female. We met at the club, we both made a connection and we exchanged numbers. The problem I have now is that she is constantly working! At first, it had me even more interested, because the only thing more sexy than a woman with her own job and own things, is a woman on her own grind....BUT DAMN! Do you have any time for yourself? For other people? Every time I called her, she was busy and at work. What was the point of giving me your number if you aren't going to make time for the friendship/relationship?

I gave you the two extremes for you to gauge where you are in your relationship. Are you too busy for love? Or are you not busy enough to have your own life and you're smothering your man?

Do men a favor.....find the balance.
(subject suggested via twitter)

Let's Talk Love Talk

Welcome to the mind of a man. Be warned...emotions are real, and not sugar coated for good taste. You are given real thoughts and theologies of what I believe on relationships (single and joined). Feel free to comment to dispute, get clarity, or request a topic.

LETS TALK LOVE!